That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
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You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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