I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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