Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
All the doctor said was why
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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