Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
