So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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