problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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