i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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