kristin has been a bad kristin
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
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He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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