I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I want to be your penis for a week.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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