rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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