Where did you get a picture of my penis
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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