so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
