yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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