two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
