Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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