one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
