Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
