P.S. I can't hear my feet
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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