If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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