kristin has been a bad kristin
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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