i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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