your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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