Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
