There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
