You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
