Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
