Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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