I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize