I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
