Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
