yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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