it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
