oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
it's like heaven, but drunker
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
