I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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