this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
