My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
