worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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