I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
