oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
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I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
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From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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