You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
