Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina... http://tfl.nu/9yjk
  Replies (15) Good night (2931) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL. http://tfl.nu/d3ky
  Replies (29) Good night (697) Bad night (7708)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  "people in the room" being me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine. (336): "people in the room" being me. http://tfl.nu/hpsj
  Replies (12) Good night (5654) Bad night (1329)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk. http://tfl.nu/vlxs
  Replies (11) Good night (3999) Bad night (1686)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks. http://tfl.nu/qdu7
  Replies (26) Good night (1000) Bad night (5891)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): No mixer. Vodka in yogurt? http://tfl.nu/c5w2
  Replies (15) Good night (1257) Bad night (2477)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting. http://tfl.nu/vtlx
  Replies (6) Good night (2018) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting" http://tfl.nu/k1xw
  Replies (7) Good night (2082) Bad night (964)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket. http://tfl.nu/rkm9
  Replies (15) Good night (1925) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): What sexual position says im sorry for your loss? http://tfl.nu/sjhl
  Replies (27) Good night (2432) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles. http://tfl.nu/yuyj
  Replies (10) Good night (1917) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason? http://tfl.nu/9wpk
  Replies (7) Good night (623) Bad night (1058)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard? http://tfl.nu/770q
  Replies (16) Good night (899) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism http://tfl.nu/db2b
  Replies (3) Good night (669) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it. http://tfl.nu/vg1e
  Replies (12) Good night (649) Bad night (263)

Randomize