I hate your face
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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