Texts From Last Night

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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Tonite tequila might call you

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Be prepared

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  (802): Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone (802): Tonite tequila might call you (802): Be prepared http://tfl.nu/qx1s
  Replies (7) Good night (2651) Bad night (641)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.

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  (612): life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix. http://tfl.nu/ht0i
  Replies (32) Good night (760) Bad night (4882)
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  (347): View more from New York

  the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant

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  (347): the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant http://tfl.nu/765y
  Replies (32) Good night (6285) Bad night (842)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.

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  (614): you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink. http://tfl.nu/tx6g
  Replies (24) Good night (9530) Bad night (1235)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.

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  (414): I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before. http://tfl.nu/ok9g
  Replies (4) Good night (1132) Bad night (2109)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.

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  (630): I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar. http://tfl.nu/ha0p
  Replies (5) Good night (1752) Bad night (1153)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass

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  (541): definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass http://tfl.nu/ukpo
  Replies (6) Good night (1675) Bad night (825)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"

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  (902): You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot" http://tfl.nu/alep
  Replies (5) Good night (1370) Bad night (457)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.

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  (780): When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend. http://tfl.nu/go1c
  Replies (3) Good night (975) Bad night (488)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.

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  (217): I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think. http://tfl.nu/6ltd
  Replies (1) Good night (337) Bad night (757)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.

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  (306): Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face. http://tfl.nu/y8xh
  Replies (22) Good night (728) Bad night (1500)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.

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  (314): You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad (224): I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick. http://tfl.nu/vatm
  Replies (2) Good night (386) Bad night (1164)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?

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  (306): your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple? http://tfl.nu/b4ff
  Replies (15) Good night (922) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  Are you proud of yourself?

  (407): View more from Florida

  ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.

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  (772): Are you proud of yourself? (407): ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off. http://tfl.nu/2m9x
  Replies (2) Good night (1055) Bad night (405)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  That is a dream.

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  (201): I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks. (201): That is a dream. http://tfl.nu/at19
  Replies (0) Good night (333) Bad night (146)

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