just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind