You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.