im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Randomize
