its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Someone shit on the floor
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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