Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
