The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
