Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
