sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
