It's like God shit irony all over that family
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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