You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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