i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
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He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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