This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
