i can't believe i had my finger in that
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm both gender and math confused
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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