His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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