zippers are such a cool invention
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
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I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
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He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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