So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
