My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
