I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
he puts the penis in happiness.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Randomize
