I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she peed on how many people?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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