never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
