I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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