and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
