Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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