I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
