the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
