Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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